Do You and Your Partner Swap Sides in Bed: The Science of Sharing a Bed

Maintaining proper sleep hygiene is the key to a peaceful bedroom. Still, many people use their beds to eat, work, and argue. While arguments will vary for every couple, one of the most surprising topics is whether or not partners swap sides of the bed or stick with their side consistently. Here are some other ground rules you should follow to ensure your bedroom stays a sanctuary—not a battleground.

Can you take your tablet or phone to bed with you?

In short, the answer is no. These devices will prevent you from sleeping well, leading to racing thoughts and anxiety about work and other stressors. Many sleep doctors urge people to use an alarm clock that isn’t their smartphone to avoid the pitfall of checking your phone in the middle of the night.

Our phones are representative of our waking lives, and they also emit blue light (yes, even with the Night Shift setting) that impacts our light-sensitive eyes, spiking cortisol while preventing the release of melatonin. All of these things prevent you from sleeping, so stop scrolling and checking your email. Better yet, buy a proper alarm clock and keep that phone downstairs on silent when you go to bed!

Is it ok to eat food in bed?

Ideally, your bed should be used for two things only: sex and sleep. Beyond the fact that crumbs and spills in your bed are gross, eating food late at night means your body is digesting these foods when you should be sleeping. While you can technically eat breakfast in bed in the morning, we stick by our statement that crumbs in your sheets aren’t cute. Additionally, doing non-sleep-related activities in your bedroom will make falling asleep at night harder.

Should couples have separate blankets or duvets?

Having separate duvets or blankets can significantly improve the quality of sleep for couples. This might not be necessary if you both sleep well, have the same temperature preferences, and are happy sharing a blanket. However, some people are hot sleepers while others are cold sleepers. Some are light sleepers; others snore heavily and don’t wake easily. And, of course, you have the dreaded people who unknowingly pull the blanket away from their partner. All these things can lead to bad sleep—and resentment!

Is sleeping somewhere else okay if your partner is sleeping and you can’t?

Couples often have different sleeping patterns (and different sleep hygiene), so sharing a bed, aka co-sleeping, may not always be feasible. For some people, giving up the intimacy of sleeping with each other may be worth days filled with fatigue. If you value your sleep and can make time for intimacy, sleeping in separate bedrooms is fine and doesn’t mean your relationship is broken. After all, constantly getting up in the middle of the night to sleep on the sofa doesn’t sound like the most pleasant experience.